like the Greeks and Brad Pitt (in a really horrendous performance as Achilles) were knocking down the door.

Just another day out in LaLa Land as the USC athletic department imploded into a ball of new collegiate presidential fury. Let's recap (just for fun):

- The train wreck known as Athletic Director Mike Garrett "retired" when given the "retire" or your ass is fired, you idiot" choice. Wise move, Mike.

- Pure cardinal and gold perfection, Pat Haden, is taking over as AD. Haden is familiar with train wrecks, having spent the past few years calling Notre Dame football for NBC. LA Times columnist spends a few minutes bowing at the altar of Haden and crediting new USC President Max Nikias for the hire. I gotta get me one of those jobs where I make the most obvious move in the world and get all kinds of credit.

- I hope USC football coach Lane Kiffin took the time to peruse the above link for this nugget:

Haden also said one of his first moves would be to create the position of associate athletic director for football, a liaison to Coach Lane Kiffin, and fill it with J.K. McKay, an L.A. lawyer who is a longtime friend. McKay, son of USC Coach John McKay, was a star wide receiver on the USC teams Haden quarterbacked.

"He's the right person for the job," Haden said. "I've known him since we were both 14 years old. He is one of the smartest, most ethical people I know, and I trust him completely.

"Our goal will be to compete ferociously but also ethically," Haden said. "There are plenty of models for that out there. Winning any way other than the right way is not winning at all."

Welcome to the straight and narrow, Lane.

- Oh, and bad news for Reggie Bush. If he happens to break his Heisman Trophy, it won't be as simple as calling up USC and getting their version for his mantle. 'Cause they sending that stuff back, postage pending.

- Good news for all the incoming USC recruits (preferably skill positions!) According to numerous twitters, the Trojans have "un-retired" Bush's No. 5 jersey. Ouch, man. That's just mean.